It's been a while

Hey blank page! It's been a while since I put my thoughts down on you:) I heard the words random and rumination in unrelated contexts, but it brought meaning to me- your existence:). and in a snap, here we are together:)

And that is really, how it is. Everything is really right here or there, until it is not. It's all about reaching out, engaging with, re learning, re trying, connecting with.

And sometimes it can seem like a lifetime to take the step.

Life is really about the "Now Here", my constant WA signature line, and the reason why I really didn't miss you that much:). Was just living the line to my best each day and boy has it changed my life for the best kind.

But now that I am here ...will return occasionally to leave a note or few for my light bearers

It's been a beautiful year of family time, milestones, learning, striving, reading, traveling, and meaningful connections and opportunities

Also, just for a laugh, had a brush with a little vertigo issue. Not pleasant at all when the whole world spins around you - every steady moment felt like a milestone in itself and definitely kept me on the path of Now Here:). 

What a brilliant piece of work this human body is and such a gift to be able to put it to good use! Thanks to a dear friend who shared a valuable resource and with enthusiastic support from the fam, my fulcrum seems to be in a better place than a few weeks ago.

And the world continues to spin in other ways- but I am okay and so are you! And that is enough to keep the world moving right.

Happy Women's Day

 " Never say Never" they say! I did not feel the need to write for the past few months and yet today, here I am:)

I cant believe it has been almost a year since, but what better day than today. " A woman is a circle-within her is the ability to create, nurture and transform" 

I am grateful for the incredibly strong, sensitive, selfless, giving, nurturing, understanding, forgiving, brave women in my life who led and lead their lives by example, who taught and teach me  true understanding of the words above and who inspired and inspire the definitions of the words that are now used to refer to women on woman's day.  An ode to them today

My grand aunt: who dedicated her life to the service of others and in the field of education especially education of the girl child. Today, somewhere in Kerala, little girls walking to and from school, perhaps sit under her statue, where I am  sure they draw both energy and inspiration to rise and fly towards their dreams, a vision she spent her life towards. Your letters and words to me will be something I will cherish

My great grandmother- the smallest home she lived in but the biggest heart she had. Growing up I was sure her vessels were " akshaya patras", never ending, since every person who visited the home ( and believe me there were plenty at a time), never left without eating and there was always food for everyone. Perhaps she taught me my earliest lessons in selfless giving.

My grandmother ( father's side): I never knew her because she died young but she must have been a remarkable woman to her 12 children who continue to hold her to the highest pedestal. Perhaps her love is what mother's love is the eyes of a child. 

My grandmother ( mother's side): " Do justice to what ever is in front of you". Perhaps this is the way I can define her. She believed in giving 100% to whatever you engaged in at the time- cooking, folding clothes, singing, academics, whatever one is doing at the time. It is ironic that today when I read about Living in the moment and doing best what lies in front, her face brings a smile to her mine. 

My mother in law: whose life lies within the walls of her home and her family, who is simple and almost apologetic in her own needs and wants.She gives me the invaluable gift of letting me be:) and celebrating our achievements big or small.

And finally the woman who " believed she could and she did"- my mother. Her journey as a woman is inspirational in itself- from where and how she started, through the journey of life  and how she chooses to live her life. My first and forever teacher-She teaches me the true meaning of self discovery, love, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, self improvement and living in the moment. I learn there is nothing i cannot do and that age is just a number from her. I did not have to find a teacher- I am born to one. 

My cousin sisters, sisters in law,  friends , who sprinkle their unique magic in each interaction. 

It would be incomplete or rather almost incorrect if I fail to mention that it is the men in my life too who have made ME possible. So a celebration of me as a woman is incomplete without a huge shout out to the men in my life - my kids, husband, brother, father, father in law, grandfathers, uncles .. who are the wind beneath my wings- who perhaps always have and continue to accept me the way I am.

Sometimes an expectation to fit a part or a role has nothing to do with the other- perhaps it is or has been a social conditioning of sorts. The last year  or so has been one of tremendous self growth and introspection , a process that helped me find my closest friend-myself;) I am reminded then of this lovely quote:

Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you. Shout aloud, I am glad to be what I am. Thank goodness I'm not a ham, or a clam, or a dusty old jar of gooseberry jam( here I add : even if  were- that would be fine ;)). I am what I am, what a great thing to be. If I say so myself, happy everyday to me!”― Dr. Seuss

Women

Happy women 

Women happy

Happy every day

Happy Women's Day

The calm and the chaos

Till a few weeks ago, despite the grim reality of COVID 19 and it's effect on humanity, there was a general consensus that this was an individual time of rejuvenation and reflection. And almost as test, to see if humanity is on track of better deeper living, chaos was " thrown " in.

 Humanity is it's own worst enemy and every human is capable  of  this dualism in some form or the other.

While at an individual level the journey is to become aware and accepting of people, experiences and situations as is, the society and humanity that we currently live in calls for action - to condemn human acts of violence against another human. Where and how does change begin ? 

In this social media dominant world, quotes , texts, pictures , and justifiable anger in print exists as reminders and perhaps a way of " talking" about the issue. But how and where should change and action begin?

If every person modeled the change he or she wished to see, within themselves, in their families, in their community, in their friendships, if acceptance was consciously practiced , what a beautiful world this would consistently be.

We as humans are so capable of this, of living in and with love and harmony
 Here is to the hope that love and goodness will prevail above all, in this world . And until then the practice of holding love and acceptance within the self continues. 

As is

Universe does conspire to make things happen: but i feel, that it happens exactly the way it should be ,rather than the way one wants it to be. Awareness and acceptance of all events, experiences and  things as is makes it seem ( and perhaps that is what alignment is) like a universal calling.

A few learnings in the past week culminating with a beautiful reflection and practice on love and kindness this morning leads me to pen this down .

It is amazing that when old materials read or imbibed are looked at with awareness and acceptance of it as is, the understanding that is arrived at, creates such harmony, and allows deeper understanding of how perhaps some beautiful verses or thoughts got lost in translation, interpretation or perhaps the lack of , over time. Resistance of the same often deprives us of the ability to receive from it. However to be fair, everything does happen exactly when it should - and perhaps this is the time to receive.  I am so grateful for a chance to re-aquaint myself with past and new learning, using a fresh pair of eyes. Universe did conspire to bring me to this place so i may hold , understand and incorporate the essence of some of these learnings into my daily life with deeper faith and equanimity.

We live in a world with constant stimulation to all our senses.But there has been an upsurge in individuals trying to find their sense in this world- youngsters included- which is so amazing. But spiritual growth and finding balance is an individual process defined by own pace . In this world of " relativity" and comparison- remembering the line" It is a marathon not a sprint" helps lead to a heartwarming thought and realization;

We are all our own unique butterflies, with our own flight , which we must take, each for our own self. The cocoon time for each butterfly is important and takes it's own time for each individual butterfly. The process cannot be rushed. A break in one's own " cocoon time" to pursue the trail of another butterfly's path , can take away from enjoying the beauty of the process itself.

Love and kindness (the thought for today) for self and others is the way. 

Language conditioning

We have always learnt that adjectives qualify/modify  nouns. Thus we have learnt : a big ball, tall girl, red shoes, brick house,  etc. If the ball is big( relative to another ball next to it) and if it can be pointed out as the same by all, then we can definitely  say " big ball". But when we use it ( and we do, and that's how we teach our lil ones too) as a stand alone " this is a big ball" then there is scope for disagreement.

Just imagine how easily " mean boy" " sad girl", " angry person" " over friendly person" " party person" etc, is used and associated with people. If there is a context to it , the adjective might hold true but often the adjective (by virtue of position in reference to the person) is stuck to a person and often used to describe a person, (like, " that___ person" ) even when the context changes.

 If a ball can be a red/round/big/ soft/ , i.e a color, a shape , any attribute, isn't a person so much more than 1 quality that is often used as a defining one to describe him or her?

In my field of work we consciously use the phrase " child with autism", but isn't that something we should always use in our acceptance and inclusion of all people? A person is "struggling with depression" rather than a "depressed person.", a person who enjoys parties rather than " party person", person who makes questionable choices rather than " bad person".

Consciously practicing it brings into awareness and therefore acceptance of , the whole person.

A shift in our own choice of words, a correction of  when it is used by our family and friends can slowly but surely help all see and include the complete person, because everyone is perfectly flawed.

Let's recap

A little pressure behind the ear, a little fluid perhaps, an itch on the foot, a broken favorite keepsake perhaps, is enough to disrupt that moment, that afternoon and sometimes even a day.
Today grateful for
the sun rising
being able to watch the sun rise
the falling rain,
the birds chirping
planet revolving
planets coexisting
galaxy in sync
We are a micro speck in this galaxy, universe, planet, continent ,  state , town , community , home .
Perspective check.

Container Gardening

Attended an online workshop on container vegetable gardening today. The irony of the parallels drawn:

The seed matters
 yes indeed it does
Choose your pot 
No control over the pot you receive but much that can be done with what is in it.
Soil is important.Heavy soil can weigh the pot down and harden over time. Soil needs to breathe.
Breath is everything. Create space. Allow room to grow. Dont pack your life too tight and forget to pause.
Plants need light. The more the light determines which kind of plant can grow in the pot.
Could not agree more. Faith, spiritual nurturing, seeing the good in the world and people rejuvenates and strengthens the core. The stronger the turn towards " sunlight" the deeper the roots and growth.
Look for decay and disease
Be aware of poor choices, toxic relationships,  perceptions, prejudices that can thwart this growth. Or find the right treatment to help the plant grow.
 Water the plant just right. You need to know your plant for that.
Every " seed" has its own innate potential and for it to grow to it's fullest you need to tend to it.
Soil needs nutrients and fertilizers not just soil
One can live one's life just by moving from one experience to another-nothing wrong in that. But adding more to it for growth and self development helps the " plant" grow well.
Re- pot with each season and so that the plant can grow well.
The most poignant of it all. This year has all been about awareness of   changing "pots" and the " removing  away" of deposits. Life in it's essence continues- a much loved person gone yesterday - moves along as a new loss takes over. Form disappears but the essence of what the person meant to one, remains. People often say that one is remembered for the footprints he leaves behind. True, but one is remembered by another only if another wishes to. SO life your life the best way you can -for your innate best potential - walk your path -and if your footprints are treasured -it is because it is seen and felt by the kindness in another.
Sometimes you may do everything right but may not see produce as you would like to. Keep working at it. Every attempt is a new learning.
Indeed. That is the fact of life. Nothing in control. Life does not have to give you the best. You make the most of it .
Grateful for the learning  And now to order the containers to grow a vegetable garden.